Thrown into life, cold and inept Afraid to follow in my father’s footsteps You’re overeducated, under qualified, and scared You gotta pull your weight, so put this on your fucking resume They said, “Just follow your dreams, but don’t forget that you’ve got to make ends meet.” A whole generation that won’t amount to anything But I’m too young to die I don’t want to work a 9 to 5 I won’t have my soul sucked out from the inside Wasting away, what am I doing here? I don’t want to be like them, so I guess I’m just a fuck up I’ll never be like them, so I might as well give up.

On top of the world we breathe in through our teeth Anxiety coils it's tongue down my throbbing throat, one more On top of the world we breathe in through our teeth Anxiety coils it's tongue down my throbbing throat, one more Love through parasites (Everyone will catch a cold) Is there another there to (Write me out) (Write me out) Picking away at all my (Cloudless dreams) Let me out let me out Let me out let me out Let me out let me out Let me out let me out

With love I will hold your weight for you With every ounce of conscience I will focus prizum hue I swear there will be brighter days I swear clouds will burn with rays Of sunlight light taking Away what he did And karma counting Adding up his sin I know we have our flaws We have our conscience I know you have your walls Built from consequence Take me Out of Your bed Of my head No longer clean No longer clean Reup Recloth Rethink And Rewind Empty inside Empty inside I'll break every bone Wincing Make it shown That there's More than Damage To your

There's really nothing to be proud of  between bad sense and circumstances  and how we fumble the two (separating the truth)  before we run out of light to move  There are nights where I die only to shoot back to life  granting the voice in my head and how it always ends up right  I'll speak clearly so you wont misunderstand me  you're not understanding  as church bells sing and fall back asleep  I cry wolf and you're always  So take a snapshot or portrait framed for the world to see  it would show the rift between you and me  hidden from your way of life  things that cant be caught with the plain eye  it would shine light on the truth  that we're both dead and alive at the same time  I've come to terms with how we lose so effortlessly  on the path that haunts my reality  diving from tragedy to tragedy  And so on

Instrumental

It's the silent killer that sleeps in the back of your head. In looming shadows. It's the drug that you beg to make you fall back to sleep. Killing you in time. I need a needle to sleep. Constant nausea, constant fear. The death grip tightens my chest. It's a constant worry. The cost of uncertainty. No peace in my thoughts. My worries blackened and control my thoughts. No peace in my heart. My heart crashes and burns to ashes. No peace in my words. Fear of blurting out obscenities. No peace in my head. Over thinking is a ticking time bomb. It attacks all my senses at once. To the blink of my sanity. The drugs to trigger panic-like feelings. The taste of the floor and unfamiliar ceilings. Under the strings of paranoia. A grim reminder a stranger in my skin. Take me to the emergency room. Give me the poison to end this war in me. Leave this shadow land behind. It's the early signs of aggravation. It's the side effect of alprazolam. As the dizziness in the common situations set a motion in camouflage crowds. The twistedness in my stomach and the nerves caught in tangles. I'll tie those loose ends and forget my old way. Finding alternatives to close up the dark walls. Finding alternatives to make me fall back to sleep.

Three blocks away from home, in a moat of dying grass, Sara lifted up the blackout curtains, arrows of light shooting past. Chase crouched down in the corner. We fed him pills to stop the shaking. And at his darkest, I really loved him, as a friend in the jaws of youth, but the past tense shades me. Oh, what a color— like a rose, or the outskirts of a fire about to flicker out and die. And I’ll die in time. Three hours away, in a sea of dying grass, someone I once knew fires arrows of light, piercing the past.

we are living in a modern day American tragedy sold our fucking souls to keep the clothing on our backs our minds will lose their edge and our bones will grind to dust from this "ordinary" nine to five life in front of us and then we will just drift away like ashes in the rain becoming just the ripples of the actions we have made so drink your drink and smirk at me and say that that's just life how can that be? this cannot be my destiny I will earn my worth and when I die I will leave nothing just a paper trail to my grave and you say that we're born just to be slaves covering the chains with suits and ties (we won't get out alive) but I believe you're wrong this is a fallacy yes I have woken up since I have sobered up so you can take your money I just can't take the gravity of these gray walls (suffocating me) and more and more it's clear to me that love and youth are currency I'd thrown it all away this is a debt I cannot pay I am living in a modern day American tragedy I sold my fucking soul and I will never get it back

there is something in the air whenever you are near but I admire you from afar the closer I get, the further you are why won't you let me in? is it written on the walls? there is nothing I wouldn't give there is nothing I wouldn't give it burns against my skin I can feel the heat in my bones the way you illuminate the room it hurts so bad to be this exposed is it all in my head? the pressure pounds against my skull what could you do to make me forget? what can I do to make you believe? I've got your picture hanging in my head and I'm seeing red and I just want you to myself cause I'm seeing red

They said this is one for the books I'll never understand really what it took And if I forget in time what this place looks like Then I'll just spend my time sitting in a void Trees lose their color, as I lose my faith I've given up on everything It's not that you're gone, it's that I'm here I'm here And you've returned to the earth It's not that I'm here, it's that you're not You said this place is a living nightmare And it hurts to say, I couldn't help It hurts to say you couldn't stay I'm here It's that you're not

I cannot shake that sound of footsteps A noise that shakes my ground and echoes in my eardrum I'm seeing different sets of footprints And trying to follow with a phantom at my heels Can't hear what future's trying to say to me Because the past knows all my sins and when it speaks it screams It always speaks, I always listen, it splits my head, into divisions And future ghosts, they blur my vision I want to run away In former days they were translucent Now they're turning opaque and I can't see light through them Its a biting wind in still rooms Heavy sense of sin gives birth to sickly blooms I'm tired of calculated steps I want to run I want to sing I want to love recklessly again I feel a great divide Gaping like a wound Between old blood and new love And their pull tears me in two I feel an empty space It's weighing heavy and sits down in my chest I feel prodigal at best Its a biting wind in still rooms Heavy sense of sin gives birth to sickly blooms I'm tired of calculated steps I want to run I want to sing I want to love recklessly again I'm chasing future ghosts, what I could have been Being chased by the ghosts of what I should have been

I take my time to put myself together, just to fall apart I find myself looking in the mirror just to find a hand to hold I take my time to put myself together, just to fall apart I find myself looking in the mirror just to find a hand to hold I still searching for a temporary bandage for a permanent wound I have been given this stage, but I have a swollen tongue. I dare not speak a word And I've made grave mistake, it's reoccurring in my brain, and these walls that I've made won't hold me back again I'll sick this ship at the sight of land, knowing it's all gone according to plan And I've made a grave mistake, it's reoccurring in my brain.

You want a treat? A silent dessert?

He sits alone and waits for death cause he's got nothing left. And he screams out loud, can anybody hear me now? Anyone at all? But no one hears a sound. He spent his life face to face with the things he lost and never could replace. He doesn't believe in much at all these days, so he waits for the current to take him away. How could anybody bear that weight? How could you stand up straight, take it in stride and keep your head held high? He tried to face those fears, but it was all too clear that this emptiness would never subside. Is there no compassion here? Was it lost somewhere along the way? Just another tortured soul unable to make it's way through such a desperate world. So he sits alone and waits for death. He waits, cause he's got nothing left. And he screams out loud, can anybody hear me now? Anyone at all? Slipping into exodus. You're a coward, but not enough to disappear. Was it the end of everything that you've ever loved? Was it failure or defeat? Was it the distance or the lack thereof? Was it those nights, dragging on? No sleep. No relief would ever come. Was it regret? Was there anything you could've done? Was it the empty of alone, or never having strength to let it go? Is it everything that you've come to know and was it unavoidable? He spent his life face to face with the things he lost and never could replace. How could anybody bear that weight? So he sits alone, because he's come to know this world has teeth.

I can’t take back a single thing that I have ever done So who is it for When I tell you time and time again How sorry that I really am? I mean it But is that ever worth a damn? I need it To selfishly relieve my shame It’s no use repeating Such words are self-defeating It was never about you anyway Trying to find comfort For lack of a better word You always said It’s better to beg for forgiveness Than ask for permission But that’s meaningless If I can’t get past all the guilt And the shame I can’t accept the helplessness of poor luck Because I don’t believe in giving up There’s always more I could have done In rejecting the concept of fate I welcome the burden of blame But it’s not the same It’s no use repeating Such words are self-defeating It was never about you anyway Trying to find comfort For lack of a better word It’s no use repeating Such words are self-defeating It was never about you anyway I’m just coping in my own way Never know what else to say Every single day You hear that word out of my mouth And it sickens me to say But I can’t help but let it out It’s a weakness It’s an impulse And I know I’ve worn it out I wish I could be stronger person Or at least a better judge Of what is out of my control So at least then I know It’s not my fault I’ll learn to forgive myself Some things are just out of our hands It’s no use repeating Such words are self-defeating It was never about you anyway I’m just coping in my own way There is nothing more that I can say I’m sorry For what it’s worth.

Can you see it Can you feel it How I don't have a clue how to look how to laugh how to lock eyes across the room like you do Do you hear it can you hear it how your friends all sound the same While I chime along in sync We sing our family name, like they mean a god damn thing Now you're staring at a picture of a family dog in a two car garage You speak some words I can't make out but you say them with a smile and how you shine in the fluorescent light It's either clear as day, black as night I'm either in my head or out of my mind I'm out of mind I hate that you made me want to stay the night And I don't know why you insisted on wasting your time

Out of sight Trying to write a song I think you would've liked if you'd sing along I think that I just might tear up a little bit because you're gone Hey It's all you ever wanted anyway My love, Your love You and me could die together every night so happily but now I see the snow it hits the ground I'm not as sensitive as I used to be Hey It's all you ever wanted anyway My love I don't want to go to Iowa I just want to stay home and bite my blisters off I don't want to go to Iowa I just wanna stay home and fight my neighbor's dog Your love, I need your love I need your love I don't want to go to Iowa…

"oh wow that stung like the bite from a bullet like a six inch heel in the back of my neck" but for me, it's easiest to look at you and feel just like i'm dead but it's harder to pinpoint the first time that your face went pale but we both know one thing this place will suck you dry and it sucks a lot, but it sure ain't hell just yet wake up, feel the fire on your fingers it's so refreshing to smell those burning tips can you remember the last time you felt alive alive alive like this what happened to all those dreams? it looks like you haven't slept in weeks your pulse is barely on the machine you're fooling everyone except for me did you do something with your hair? or just find that ghostly stare? do i actually care? i do, but i don't at all you're wrong, you're wrong dissolve, dissolve wake up, feel the fire on your fingers it's so refreshing to smell those burning tips can you remember the last time you felt alive alive alive like this

you shot me a glare through the low-hanging fruit remind me again, which offense did i choose? i'm doing the best that i can with my hands but i needed you and i'm bribing the judge 'cause i don't have a case but i'm judging myself so i'm taking the bait but i'm not satisfied 'til i know that you know that i know the truth if i could i'd break your back with all my straw if i could i'd break you out of all those thoughts and you'll never get bored or get swept off the front porch i muttered that verse about water and wine and i'm tempted to try if the devil don't mind 'cause i've had some luck in corrupting what's clean whatever the means you might faint while you wait for the water to boil and the tile may turn south american soil i guess everything good must end, sink, or spoil but that's only once if i could i'd break the truth between your jaws know i should but that's just not the war i fought so i'll never get bored or get stuck at the front door i'm seeing this through 'cause i can't see through it i'm paying my due for the lanterns i lit i'm meeting halfway between seeing and being a part of that light